InDependence Day 2018
so is this letter.
I am NOT trying to justify my actions at the Park, I actually was quite calm, not necessarily centered, but I was not going to get up and stab anyone in the heart, including Milton.
As you should know by now I can get quite upset but I don't get out of control. The fact I can't express myself as I please is one of the major reasons I get upset. I am always being 'restricted' in one way or another and when Sandy can't handle a situation I may be the cause of she saids "I don't want to argue." as an easy get out of it when I don
t want to argue either but discuss the problem. But Sandy said she did not have time for this and to come back later. This is an unrelated incident and has nothing to do with the Park incident, but I thought I would mention it here to help clarify how I feel but can't express even when I am not upset, or angry or even 'violent' which I am not. I am so sorry I am such a bad actor, I express myself the best way I can, not the way Anita and Milton or anybody else for that matter want me too. And I think not being able to 'share' some of the more unacceptable things in my life such as I am an atheist and do not 'believe' or 'create' holy ghosts unless I am going to use it in a book, a FICTION book.
When Milton directly gives me a song about people who smile because some 'holy ghost' and we all know that means Jesus, is IN THEM it infuriates me for I THINK and KNOW, [not believe] that these people are delusional and will not be happy or smiling till I am AGAIN as insane and delusional as they are. Rather you like it or not or agree with me or not I have been quite SANE and mostly rational for some time now and when someone INDIRECTLY is telling me to participate in a song about some 'holy spook' it gets me a little upset. If not almost insane again.
For the reason I don't and nor do I wish too 'believe' [which is nothing but your own psychic power to create from nothing] in holy ghost or any ghost for they are not real and don't exist and to tell me otherwise is to try and make me an insane slave again as far as I am concern and I am hated and said I am this and that and I don't want to do this or that and I certainly have a problem with AUTHORITY.
Yes I do, the authority of the bible. It is not God's word to me it is man's word about god and a very poorly written and rewritten book that only glorifies the white man {not woman} as some god who made me {created} and I must obey him.
Well, fuck that! I don't believe in your false god, your false savior from the same fucked up false book you call the holy bible.
And I am afraid Milton is trying to make and keep me insane unconsciously thinking he is doing God's or Jesus's Will.
So I hope this letter gives you some insight into me so you will see I don't get upset or angry as you say till the following happens rather directly or indirectly.
And if you think this is an apology letter to that thunderhead Milton, you need to think again. For I do not hate him or is stupid goonies, because hate never changed anything for the good. BUT.....read on...
I am not crazy or insane and since it was Anita and Milton who were telling me I had a bad attitude, mood, or whatever, and should take it out of there, I wanted to sit down with Milton and tell him why I was acting upset but not out of control as I am sure they told are said to you-it is them that are trying to keep a job not me and any history of me will be used against me. Now I am not saying I sat there as 'if to pray' I was boisterous but not mad or out of control.
Milton should have taken me aside and let me tell him what I wanted to tell him and even maybe 'calm me down', though I was loud and boisterous, I was not raving or out of control of my emotions, I just was expressing them. But to express 'angry' the fourth deadliest sin, I am already being put in a straitjacket but its mental not physical as in take that behavior out of here, watch your language, you can't do that, you better do this---
Milton came up to me, he himself, very irate and then he tried to start a fight with me. And though I know I was loud but not yelling and screaming which were probably the words used to describe me, I had to get his attention to let him know why I didn't like the way he wanted me to play behind a Christian song when he knows or should know by now I think religion and Christianity is what made me insane in the first place and to me it is the cause of MY pass insanity and ostracized from my family and society.
Though Milton isn't grabbing me by the arm and making me go to church, he did sort of slyly ask me to play a song where the people 'smile' because of Jesus or the holy spirit and that can make me very angry for I think it is a false god and religion and people who practice it or devil worshippers {they worship a man as god} and they keep alive an LIE by creating {Believing it over and over again and hate me and give me attitude because I REFUSE too.
And in a sense, he is saying, 'this is my 'fate' too!" or why else would he have me do a song about a holy ghost which I think is not real, that is why you have to believe in it and people who say it is real are delusional to me.
He is trying to indoctrinate me into this to do it all over again but not directly, indirectly by giving me this song whereas I am smiling because I let some 'holy ghost' take residence in my body, mind, or soul and to me, this is real DEMON POSSESSION. So it upsets me he tried to trick me into doing this song and I did not say anything in the office for I didn't know the whole song. Now I do and he has no right to push that song off on me when I think it made me insane in the first place I get upset for he works in Mental Health and has no idea what the fuck he is really doing as far as I am concern.
Not the song but the concept I need something 'outside' myself to complete me, especially Jesus, who was never real, DROVE me insane and I fight very hard for that not to happen again.
Milton might think he is doing the Lord's Will or Jehovah's Will,
I see him doing the DEVIL's Will!
For the devil is and always was a man and never a spirit.
And he wants me to worship a man as God. I will not do it.
Especially a man who never existed and even if he did I could really give a flying fuck!
To me, man wrote the bible about god, not god wrote the bible about man or me. The god of Milton's bible didn't create me and I have nothing to do with his son who to me is the IMPOSTER GOD.
NO PERFECT MAN EVER WALKED THE EARTH, WHITE, BLACK, BROWN, TAN, WITH PURPLE POLKA DOTS EVERY!
TO ME THAT IS THE ENDURING LIE THAT ruins THE WORLD AND ME BUT I RECOVERED.
No man and especially no 'perfect man' ever died for me and even if he did, which he didn't, it would have been in vain, for here is what is steaming my coffee, I AM NOT A SINNER BECAUSE MILTON'S DERANGE 'BELIEF' IN HIS GOD, SAVIOR, AND BIBLE SAY SO. IT IS A BOOK OF FAIRY TALES TO ME NOT GOD'S WORD AS IT IS TO MILTON and other people.
IT IS NOT MY AUTHORITY AND NEVER WILL IT BE.
I don't think Jesus Christ of Milton's holy book is the son of god or any god, and certainly not my Savior. No holy ghost ever made me smile, it made me insane when I was 'FORCED" to 'believe' it.
He has to condemn me first to 'save' me.
I think there should be a separation of Church and State and Milton had no right asking me to play a song I see as the cause of not only my insanity but all insanity. Well, I am not insane anymore and get upset when others directly or indirectly {Milton's method here}include me in anything that says I must or have to 'believe' in a holy ghost.
In fact, I think he is a fabrication, an invention, and creation to enslave me mentally and physically. It is used and has been used to make us think that God created us as slaves and we should 'smile' about it.
Well, that verse 'for all has sinned and come short...'.
Well, that is God's fault {mistake} not mine and the God of Milton's bible doesn't exist to me. I am not a 'sinner' and I get upset when people try and make me one.
Milton's holy book condemns me to save me.
It is a set up anyway, a 'sinner' needs to be saved. If I am NOT a 'sinner' then I don't need to be saved but I am considered crazy and evil by the society I still have to live in. I am already condemned by Christians so they can save me but I don't 'play' their same STUPID DEHUMANIZING game.
So what is happening here, is that I am being or HAVE BEEN judged and condemned by a stupid book that Milton wants me to 'believe in' ALREADY!
And if I don't 'believe' or my behavior 'don't believe' I am repressed and told to leave for non-compliance to a certain degree because I am 'upset' but indirectly I am being repressed and subject to 'keep still and say nothing' commands from a fictional book called the bible.
I know you tell me to shut up or 'calm down' or leave because I am upset, it is the reason you never address the upsetness if you can call it that can make me more anger for I came there for help. This is when Sandy said 'I don't want to argue.' and never heard a word I said judging me by my emotions. Milton does even better he just 'ignores' you, a great thing to do with mental ill people. But right I am not mentally ill anymore but you know what I am saying here and if you agree or not I could give a flying f------ we know the ending here.
Well, let me get what I have out and over and then it is really over.
Telling me to suppress myself for you because you don't like my behavior or attitude or ignore it is the worst thing you can do and Sandy and Milton do this all the time repress me or reject me, not all the time but I hope you can see what I am saying here.
Only one person there ever gave me any room to grow but I will not get into that here, I am just a crazy hothead. And if I am I hope you see how Milton 'creates the ghost and monsters {demons'} he sees before him in 3 D reality.
Anyway, though he did not DIRECTLY say, "Brewster this is why I {or we} SMILE because we 'believe' in holy ghosts and you Brewster, don't obey authority because you DON'T accept the authority of my book I BELIEVE is the Word of God as YOUR AUTHORITY.
AND HE IS DAMN RIGHT!
To me, the bible is man's word about god, not god's word about man or me. Man created god, god didn't create me. And especially Milton's god and I am not a sinner and I do not nor never did ever need Jesus Christ as a savior or master.
SMILE if the 'holy spirit' is in you, or this man who is fictional to me Jesus Christ is an awful game wiser people than you and me 'create and use' to control us and make us happy we are controlled. And Milton really doesn't smile that much around there, but anyway, I just would like to explain my side or actually what took place that day of which you are going to get a lot of different viewpoints but the MAIN VIEWPOINT you are going to get is that everyone was in a good mood and having fun and good old Brewster showed up, asked Milton if 'He was a Jehovah Witness', and Milton wave me away to say, 'I am not going to get into this now', and he walked away and I yelled but I really wasn't angry...yet, "Milton I don't like people telling me that a ghost, and in this case a 'holy ghost' and I can assume this 'holy ghost' is named Jesus Christ, anyway it DOES INFURIATE ME to the point of insanity when I am told all my life that I am supposed too? {how about HAVE TOO? be happy if I make a white master my lord.}
BELIEVING to be overjoyed because of this 'holy ghost', and to me 'belief' in any ghost rather he is holy, or unholy or Casper the friendly ghost' is what seriously drove me 'insane' for lack of a better word in the first place. I never believed in ghost or dead people rising from the dead in the first place.
I truly 'believe', no I fucking KNOW that is what happened to me and of course Milton NEVER DIRECTLY EVER SAID or even approached me about religion or what he believes though it is quite obvious with the bible he carries around with him which is to me 'the WORD of man about gods, and not "The Word of God'.
I got to 'believe' his stupid, damnable book or I am explosive, always kinda of angry, which is not the truth, but kinda of defense of religion and by telling me to help do a song called SMILE by this guy who looks likes he took an iron and tattooed his hair to his head or it is just a bad picture of him {Kirk Franklin} and telling me that his reality {what he is creating} is a ghost inside of him telling him what to do, think and above all 'believe' [create] which to me is impossibly false and above all UNTRUE! If it was true in the first place I would not have to believe it or 'in' it.
Now I know I am being comical but I hope you see what I am saying here and if you want to dismiss it as the ranting of a madman or just a really pissed off black man that is your choice but I just hope you hear me out before you wish me away because I am 'upset; or 'raising my voice and using 'colorful metaphors' as Captain Kirk and Spock would call them.
But I was in a public park and though I know people are afraid of people who get angry for that is possible threat of violence and uncontrollable person [which I am not for I 'control my angry' I think pretty good, you just don't like for me to express it if you think about it nowhere! Not the park or your place {which is your right for we are indoor and you have control of the place and the right to put anybody out hope for a good reason and if I was loud in there you can even call the cops for I am in violation so I don't do that but we were in a public park and Milton or I forgot her name but you oh yeah Anita has no right to tell me what to do or how I can express myself or what emotions I can express them, and it was Milton who came up to me and said 'What is your problem?" and I said '"You, Milton! You are my problem and I would not be surprised if I said: "You are my fucking problem!" Sooo Milton goes sometimes like 'Well, I'm right here!" And I know what I said, 'I said, Milton, I am not a violent man and never ever was a physical threat to him.
In other words it was Milton who ws so mad that he really was instigating a fight with me-now I talk extememy loud when I am upset or want to be heard and use uh, 'curse words' and I appear angry so I need to be controlled for it is HOW I am acting-but I am in control that is why I sat there for Milton and told him he was very welcome to call the Police if I was so 'out of control' or bothering someone besides the words coming out of my mouth I hope you see what I am saying here I was angry but I was never out of control and don't get out of control but it was a public park and though you had a space you really had no more jurisdiction to tell me what to do and even if I was upset which I was why do I have to be 'calm' to express something that makes me more than angry I see it as the reason of my pass insanity and for someone to coyly try and tell me play to a song about smiling because some innocent man died for something I was [supposely] was to die for, {I'm still trying to figure that one out, I never did anything worthy of death}, I told a few lies, I stole a few things here and there, I even made some VERY BAD DECISIONS, but I never did anything worthy of death and in fact I truly tried to live my life loving EVERYONE AND EVERYONE THE SAME.
Last part if you are still with me.
I see an insidious game being played here.
Not by Milton. He has are many others is just a mindless pawn in it. Like his stupid racist, anti-life book saids 'his left hand knows not what his right hand doeth.' But that works for Milton for he is fullfilling {believing=creating} the bible lies and all and wants me to join in.
"My motto: "Don't help them to bury the light."
The reason atheist and a 'no god' world terrrifes you is because your no god world is evil and terror and everything bad-but you created by saying the ONLY GOOD< AND PURE THING IS THIS FUCKED JESUS CHRIST and until you accept {create him as I do or 'believe'} you are one fucked up little puppy and always have been for my god made {created} you that way.
This divine will or Game sucks to high heaven that doesn't exist except in your mind and you can create it here on earth instead of Jesus Christ and the monsters you indirectly 'create' to sacrifice to him and that is how the rich get richer and STAY richer and we?
Oh yeah, we get to suffer and die and go to heaven one day after your death to eat good American Pie! After you are dead when you can know NOTHING at all.
Happy waiting! Don't do anything to change the world but worship me, I will straighten out EVERYTHING when I get there! In the meantime love your brother and bring his sorry no count, gangster ass to me I will make him a disciple{working servant or slave} too! Jesus will be coming to a theatre near you soon!
This game said 'you are a sinner and have to be saved'
but I am NOT a sinner. This word is invented to condemn all men without rebuke.
To me, that is the set up why am I a sinner, to 'save me' for I am nothing and Jesus is everything including God which he is NOT, but I must 'BELIEVE' he is or I am just a kid throwing a temper tantrum 'bad sinner' that I am.
So I am evil because I do not like or believe in Jesus Christ?
Uh I am not a sinner I make mistakes because I am evolving and learning and guess what I am going to make more fucking mistakes for I am not perfect and neither are you and I am sorry I will NOT 'believe' in your imaginary perfect man and you already damned me for I say 'no perfect man walk on the earth in the flesh not white black, tan, Spanish or with purple polka dots'. No real, physical man.
You are saying I am nothing without Christ or this holy ghost that I have to 'believe in'or go to hell.
If you replaced the word 'believe' with the word create you would see you are telling me to 'create' 'believe' in your god or Jesus Christ in other words:
You say, 'Brewster create this 'son of god' who you need to be holy or forgiven or saved' for without him you are nothing you are condemned.
But it is not God condemning me it is Milton and all those like him.
Milton is murderous not really knowing he is 'believing' or 'creating' the very horror that he wants to 'save' us from.
And I, I am not only 'judged' but condemned!
He is not doing God's Will but that of the devil.
The one percent who has all the money and control and rule the world through religions.
I am defined as a 'sinner' from the same book that was used to make us and keep us slaves for centuries by falsely saying we need a white master, Jesus Christ. This enduring lie does upset me and those who propagate it in their religions. It is racist.
Milton is telling me I am nothing and I am som upset psycho kid for I REFUSE TO HAVE A WHITE MASTER
I don't know if anyone sees this but it is the same bullshit lie the 1% of the people who have all the money and have ruled the world since well since Constantine had to come up with a solution to the Jews {Monotheism one god} and Roman Pagans in Rome- {many gods} Ceasear had to be in every holy Temple and Jews had Yahewh /Jehovah and say NO WAY.
So Constan and the Nicene Council took the names of 100 of the best known gods at the time and put two together Iesus who was a Celtic god for the Jews and Krishna the Eastern god of Salvation of the Indians of India who really had adopted the teachings of Helena who was the goddess of the Aryans who said holiness and salvation was suffering and sex absence this became known as The Gita and soon you had Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva and the Indians worshipping the made-up god of the Aryans and of course this goddess said the Aryans were the superior people in the world like the bible said the Jews are God's chosen people and no one sees the fucking set up here? How can a fair and honest god show and have favorites?
So, in short, I don't think I will do Milton's song and Jesus Christ {to me for you think this is just the crazy opinion of a ranting mad black man
Jesus was invented to control and deceive the masses.
Even if Jesus was made for good purposes he has morphed into the main reasons I was insane and as I see it I either had to 'believe' 'create' ghost, a man dying for me for I am nothing, a 'sinner' for not having this creep in my life and I am prejudice and crazy and hate white people and trying to say Jesus is the devil ?
No. 1) It is the images and the unconscious brainwashing I am talking about. Not the real actions of white people unless they directed at me in a threating way.
I believe the bible to be the word of man about a god, told through Jewish and Greek myths, legends, and passed down orally for years before it was written down as a holy book.
But the bible endorses slavery and has things in it that never existed.
What a better way to make {Create} a slave than to tell them God created you that way and indirectly this is exactly what this man-made evil book is saying and always said.
But few people really read the bible. And when they do read it, it is already going through that same damnable, fearful {'the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom'} filter that was used to 'control' you as a child.
He is for you want me to create him again and again too and believe that some idiot walked on water but what is worst what if I tell you I am NOTgoing to CREATE your WHITE MASTER? I am NOT going to play your GAME OF DEATH real death. That is the way it seems to me rather you think it is a real reality or not, it is to me.
I am NOT going to let you drive me insane again and have Sandy restrict me just like Anita does every time I walk in the door Burce don't express your anger and watch your language.....
I do watch my language and choose my words very carefully for my life has been destroyed and me almost with it and as far as I am concern it is all Milton's fault and those like him. What black man is not Christian or have we forgot it was 'beaten' into us?
Milton suffers from Stockholm syndrome and he hates me I do not hate him, I am extremely 'pissed' at him! I am not blaming him for my mental illness I am saying Milton is guilty and cause of the psychological programming very rich uncaring men I call the Devil or Devils use to program me to be a happy or 'smiling SLAVE or servant of Christ, no matter what you call it it still stinks!
I hate religion but hate Milton? No.
And I think that is whatever one interprets my anger as NO I do not hate Milton one that is what he is creating not me though he does not know if he really thinks he is doing the work of God when he is telling us to create this false white god [and no matter how you slice it or dice it-ALL IMAGES of Jesus or of a white man-I am attacking the IMAGE not white people- a lot of white people are truly nice and decent a very lot.
Anyway, I am tired that is why this letter is looking more shittier But I hope I covered enough to help you understand me and when I am happy in there and trying to make people so drugged up on legal dope but they are sinners and being sick is suffering God loves them for that!
You first have to condemn a man to 'save' him and all bad religions have done that since time began it makes good slaves we call 'pad servants and servants of Jesus and Christ-like that stupid work thing I am being forced to say I believe in holy ghost' or I am crazy, an evil person a sinner
I refuse to be your sinner and I refuse to be your slave I refuse to have a white master over me named Jesus Christ as if I need a fucking book to tell me not to kill my mother or try to be kind to others as you wish they were to you and ect.
Milton wants me to 'believe' I am a sinner, "Damn myself so he can sacrifice me to his Devil for true devil worshippers worship a man as god is that not Jesus Christ- I will NEVER worship a man as God except myself and I will not create an evil world to save an evil world and Milton and that is why the bible is a lie for
Everyone will not bow to your Devil my stupid monkey friend for the bible keeps you from growing look at the people they pay you to babysit you, my friend, in my opinion, are the responsible party but the blame on you pass the buck, I take responsibility for my actions as well as my emotions I don't want people to be nor act nor copy me but I am pissed I don't blame you I am saying YOU ARE THE CAUSE AND STILL ARE THE CAUSE AND I AM NOT SORRY I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU CONDEMN ME TO SAVE ME TO MAKE ME YOUR SLAVE?
No sirree! I'm not fucking guilty see Milton you are so right you get exactly what you 'believe' uh CREATE
YOU DESERVE TO DIE JUST LIKE YOU SAID AND THE FALSE BASTARD WHO WANT ME TO DO THE SAME
I don't hate you, though I should because:
hate never changed anything.....good! heeeeee!
But you should be eradicated like cancer!
And all like you who create {believe} the very fucked up world you hope your invented Jesus will 'clean up for you'.
you are a dangerous man Milton
you are walking death and
you have seen a ghost---me.
I know I was repetitious but I made my major points over and over.
So if we can separate Church from State I might be a little less prone to being angry, you will have a peaceful place and all should be somewhat a little bit happier.
I quietly drank a soda and after a while left the park.
I think I shall go eat some comfort food and watch a horror movie now and
Thank you for reading.
Bruce Peterson, author
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